Tags
baby girl, beginning, birth story, childbirth, family, home birth, joy, midwife, midwifery, nugget, scripture, water birth
***DISCLAIMER*** I AM WRITING THIS POST IN THE HOPES THAT IT WOULD ENLIGHTEN AND EMPOWER OTHERS ABOUT WATER BIRTH AT HOME, NATURAL CHILDBIRTH AND MIDWIFERY THROUGH MY LABOR EXPERIENCE. THIS POST IS NOT DISCREET AND GIVES MANY DETAILS ABOUT OUR HOME BIRTH THAT SOME MAY FIND “TOO PERSONAL” – IF THAT IS YOU, THEN PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS.
To start, you have to know that it took me 2 months to even write down my version of Scarlett’s birth story. I had been advised to write it down after the postpartum period so as to be more clear of mind, I was however, not remembering as clearly as I had hoped. Sam decided we should look at the photos that one of our midwives and friend, Maricella, had taken during labor and Scarlett’s birth. Now you have to know that I wanted to have my story written before looking at these, thus the reason we had waited so long; I didn’t want the photos to change my memory of what happened. It was late one Saturday night, after Scarlett was up in bed, and after I had begun writing her story that I decided it was time to look at the pictures – that way I could make sure I remembered everything. I am so glad we did look at them when we did, I don’t think I could have emotionally handled seeing them until that point. I am so thankful for those images, to be able to relive that day through the photos and go back to that sacred space where Scarlett was born is something I will never regret. Sam & I were both emotional wrecks, wiping away each others tears while looking at our sweet angel on the baby monitor while she slept. It was a surreal experience and helped me relive each moment and therefore sparked my memory for my story. As raw as some of the images are, I do not regret seeing them before I finished writing my story down; I had no clue what I looked like during the process and when I saw myself, I knew the Lord had given me His strength and courage in my weakness.
So here we go, my version {and yes, there will be a post from Sam on his version very soon} of the day Scarlett was born. This story begins the night before I ended up going into labor:
Our due date of September 28, 2012 had come and gone, and our midwives had suggested that I start using Evening Primrose Oil pills to “ripen my cervix” and even insert them vaginally at night. I had been taking them orally for a week prior to my due date, but hadn’t gone farther than that. Before going to bed on October 2nd, I did insert one pill for the first time. I did not sleep well that night for some reason, and I was woken up very early in the morning by a tightness in my abdomen that I’d not felt ever before. Not thinking much of it, I went to the bathroom and tried to fall back asleep. At about 8:30am I woke again, the tightness more intense this time, and it made me wonder if I might be in labor. I got out my handy iPhone app and started to time when I felt the tightness, just in case. After timing 2 rounds of that tightness, I discovered that they each lasted about 1 minute long and were about 12 minutes apart. I immediately woke Sam up and told him that I thought I was having contractions, or “rushes” as we had decided to call them after reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. By this time it was about 9am and when I woke him, he proceeded to tell me that he had just been having a dream that I went into labor! How crazy! At that point we timed a few more rushes just to be sure and once they stayed consistent we realized we should probably let a few people know. We called my parents and Sam’s parents and just told them that something was happening and that we’d keep them updated and then we called Debbie, one of our midwives, to let her know as well. We knew from our birth classes that it was the first stage of labor and that we needed to get as much rest as possible, so we laid back down in bed and rested. I laid on my left side, as I had become accustomed to, and Sam “spooned” me. I was able to rest for a bit, whenever I would feel my abdomen start to tense, I’d tell Sam and he would put pressure on my lower back as I would do my low moans through the rush. We slept on and off until about noon, at which point I knew things were getting more intense.
We got up and decided that I needed to start eating to give my body fuel for the work that lay ahead. At that point I had received a text from my mom saying that she had left work and wanted to come over. We had not planned on having anyone other than ourselves and our team of midwives at the birth, but in that moment I really wanted my mom to come over. Part of our birth plan was that Sam & I would labor together, just the two of us, until we felt we needed to have the support of our birth team. We went downstairs to the kitchen and Sam made me something to eat, I still had an appetite at that point, while I sat at the kitchen table on my birth ball. My mom arrived shortly after we got downstairs and Sam said that since we had plenty of time until real progress, he would go to Whole Foods to stock up our kitchen for the coming days. It sounded like a good idea at first, but then my rushes got closer together and I decided I didn’t want him to leave. As each rush came, I would moan in very low tones and Sam would put pressure on my back to help me relax; as the rushes grew more intense, the more I relied on him and his support. I wasn’t thinking too much about what was happening at that point or what it all meant, I was still talking and eating in between each rush and thought that I still had a long way to go until I entered active labor. I knew I needed to use the restroom at that point so I made my way upstairs, with help from my mom and Sam.
Once I was up there the rushes got closer together and I started to feel like things were suddenly progressing quickly. I told Sam to call Debbie and let her know what was going on. It was that moment that I realized what was actually happening – our little girl was coming – and not as slowly as I had expected! Suddenly, I felt a sense of urgency and the need to focus through each rush; no longer was I laughing and talking. Sam & I went into our bedroom and I sat on our bed, I had started to feel nauseous when I ate and it was constant now, I had not expected that.
I am not sure how long we were in our room, we had worship music playing {my “let’s have a baby” playlist} and Sam was praying over me and speaking scripture out loud in between each rush causing me to enter a spiritual bubble, but at some point Maricella arrived and was sitting quietly on the floor in our room. I was thankful to have her peaceful presence there, she would ask me how I was doing and gently encourage me telling me I was doing great. I remember Sam had closed the curtains in our bedroom and had very dim light in the room; it was so peaceful. I got lost in my own world from that point on, not sure who was coming and going {Debbie arrived and some point too and let me know she was there} other than Sam who stayed with me constantly. HIs strong yet gentle reminders to keep up my low moans, that I was doing great, that he loved me and was so excited to meet our child, all kept me focused and made me feel safe, strong, and confident in the work that laid ahead.
I do remember after laboring for quite a while on our bed in different positions, needing to throw up and heading to the bathroom to do so. It felt like we were in the bathroom for a while, I did throw up a few times, and Sam kept having me drink water and take bites of a protein bar. I know that Maricella was nearby with a bowl incase I needed it and I sat leaned against Sam for a while. At one point Debbie came in and I remember her saying, in a very soft and peaceful voice, that if I wanted to and felt ready that I could go into the birth tub. Hearing those words shocked me; they knew that I wanted to wait to get into the tub until I was close to pushing. A rush of reality hit me again at that moment, pulling me out of my dream-like state, and I remember say to her “ALREADY?” It felt too soon to me – I was sure that I still had to get through several more hours until it was time to get into the tub. Once I realized that I’d be meeting our girl sooner than expected I was a little giddy!
***part 2 coming tomorrow**
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